Dear Blacksmith

- previously "Swimming through Clouds" - Reflections following the death of my beloved Blacksmith Paul who died in March 2016, eight months into our relationship. The full story is available in the book, Dear Blacksmith.

Tuesday, 13 December 2016

This won't be a Happy Christmas

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I'm not sending Christmas cards this year. Call me Scrooge, but I just don't feel like celebrating. I don't begrudge other peo...
Tuesday, 25 October 2016

Once upon a time the man I loved died

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When I started my blog, I didn't set out to tell a story. I was simply in agony and writing was my way of trying to survive. I wasn'...
Saturday, 15 October 2016

Counting

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These days I find myself counting, I am always counting. I count breaths, days, months, log the seasons as they go by: spring, summer, a...
Thursday, 6 October 2016

The future doesn't exist

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I went back to see my old therapist last week. It was a routine follow-up from the sessions I had when we were together. She was the one w...
Monday, 5 September 2016

It sucks, I'm here, I love you - or What to say when you don't know what to say

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A good friend sent me a text message yesterday letting me know that her dad had died. I felt terrible for her, as I do now for anyone who ...
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Wednesday, 27 July 2016

I am thinking about what I have gained

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'Next time, let's think about what you have gained,' she says. I feel my hackles rise a little as they do every time someone off...
Sunday, 17 July 2016

When you're in love with a beautiful man - and then he dies - then what?

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I think about that thing that teenagers do when they're first in love and on the phone. Maybe they don't do it these days. Maybe the...
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Beverley Ward
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Beverley Ward
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